My Heart 4 Years Later...

"Britta, I wonder if I could see your heart when I was in your belly? I wonder if I looked up and said 'oh there's a heart that's all full of love for me?' I wonder what your heart looks like from the inside? I bet it's all big and smushy with so much love" -Ari (April 13 2011.. the day after her 4th birthday) 

There is much talk about the heart at our house. "I love you with my whole heart" is a common one. Ari has admitted to loving sugar with her whole heart and Oaks Park as well. Her heart apparently sings when her mom is happy and hurts when she's not allowed to jump on the trampoline during a hail storm. It clearly makes no sense that Jesus could get into her heart because he's obviously too big and besides, "how could he get back out?" It is common knowledge that the Grinch's heart was two sizes too small and the same diagnosis has been given to people who smoke or make fun of others (or God forbid, both at the same time). Pharaoh's heart was hard, not smushy and Hitler's must have been the same. Apparently that's what happens to mean rulers whose mom and dad weren't nice to them.

Yes, many conclusions have been drawn about the state of one's heart in Ari's world. "Big and smushy with so much love" might be the best so far. It is a beautiful description of her mom's heart as only Ari could say it. It is, however, a different description than her mom might use. How would her mom describe her own heart? She'd tell you that's an easy one ... her heart is around 39 inches tall and weighs 39.5 pounds. She has dark curly hair and hates ponytails and braids. She's a good jumper, a fast runner, and an even faster talker. Ari's mom's heart exists outside her own body and has since April 12, 2007. That's how she'd describe it.   

Four going on... forty or so?

On April 12th Ari turns four. This is unbelievable to me on a few different levels. One... I can't believe she's already four, that it's been that long since she was born. It has flown by. Two... I can't believe she's only four...  Not because it feels like she's always been in my life (even though it does), but because she seems sooo much older. I forget she's still just a little kid. When I see her from a distance with other little ones I'm reminded. She's little! Weird. I could have sworn I was talking to a teenager on the way to preschool or that it was a 55 year-old chastising Jeff in the kitchen. She's just so big for being so little!